Why You Need Your Girls As You Get Older

Yesterday I had brunch with my best girls. I’ve known each one of them for at least 20 years, some 25+. We all lead very different lives, but it is our genuine love for one another that’s kept us close all these years. 

These girls have always been important to me, but as I grow older, as we grow older together, I realize how blessed I am to have each one of them in my life, how blessed we are to have each other. 

We’ve seen each other through good times and bad, thick and thin (situations and body types) shared laughs and tears, argued and made up, and celebrated and consoled. Our 20+ years have been filled with joy and blessings, but also with struggles and heartaches.

We all live very separate lives, have different careers and other friends, children of different ages, and homes near and far. We send random texts, keep in contact through group chat, and celebrate accomplishments and occasions together, but sometimes there are months when we don’t see each other. When we do, it’s as if no time has passed, and things have changed, yet our friendship is the constant.

Age has taught me that women need other women. We need these types of friendships with women who understand us, who get us. My circle of friends have wonderful families, supportive boyfriends and husbands, fulfilling careers, but without this circle, we’d miss out on so much. Life would be different. Women needs close, female relationships, are here are just a few reasons why:

Remember that time when…      

Together you can fondly reminisce about all those times, long ago, and talk about them like they happened yesterday. Fun times and embarrassing ones, your girlfriends know all of them, and they’ll keep you feeling young.  

Circa 1989


Nicknames that no one outside of the group understands.                                                             

If you ever overhear my girlfriends and I address each other, we have nicknames for each other that go back a few decades. No one will ever understand them but us; it’s one if those “you had to be there” type things, and it’s something unique to us that we’ll always share with each other. 

Tell me the truth, even when it hurts.       

While your husband might say “yeah, that outfit looks fine,” expect the harsh truth from your girlfriends. They’ll be honest with you, not necessarily flatter you, and not just when it comes to your wardrobe. The filters and inside voices become nonexistent. 

I’ll be there for you.                               

Getting older means problems get more real, and sometimes you need your girls to get you through them. From deaths of loves ones to relationship hardships, to health problems and financial woes, a close girlfriend will be there, even if it’s just to sit with you, lend an ear or shoulder, or keep you company. One of my girlfriends has on occasion called me her “ride or die.” If she needs someone, I’m there, and truthfully, I’d do the same for anyone in the circle. 

I’m so happy for you!                                     

While sadly, not everyone will celebrate your accomplishments and be genuinely happy for you, your girlfriends will. They’ll visit you when your babies are born, stand by you at the alter, and celebrate graduations, promotions and accomplishments, and if they’re like mine, they’re be ready to toast to you as well. 

There’s no comparison to the relationship between a husband and wife, a mother and child, or that of the best of girlfriends. Each relationship is different and unique, and sometimes those female friendships are the ones that fall by the wayside when life gets busy. Women share a bond like no other, and we need those female emotional connections that offer a kinship that cannot be recieved elsewhere. 

Facebook recently told me that “if a friendship lasts more than 7 years, psychologists say it will last a lifetime.” I have no doubt that’s true for my girlfriends. We’ve remained in each other’s lives, and that hasn’t always been easy.  I’m guessing those stats increase after 20+ years. Here’s to another 20 with my girls.